I simply try to love the gay individuals I know, and bring a little grace and mercy to a church that puts this particular sin-if indeed it is that-in a special category. And the atmosphere of judgment and condemnation is so strong that I feel no need to represent a balanced viewpoint myself. It seems to me that’s the clearest message we have. Nevertheless, I start with what I’m sure of: my attitude toward homosexuals. I also disapprove of sexual promiscuity, whether of the hetero- or homo- variety. They may be right, but so far I’m unconvinced.
As long as I get angry letters from both sides, I feel better.ĭo I agree with gay Christians’ interpretations of the six passages in the Bible that may or may not relate to their behavior? No. I hear from gay Christians who are very disappointed that I don’t condone their point of view, and I hear from traditional Christians who are very disappointed that I don’t condemn homosexual behavior. I’ve observed that as soon as a person does take sides, communication ends. It would be more accurate to say that I intentionally don’t take sides on this issue. Would it be accurate to say that you do not believe God judges homosexual feelings, as heterosexuals experience these temptations too, but that you would consider acting on them and engaging in homosexual activity, either in the mind or in the flesh, to be sin according to the Bible? Do I feel awkward? Do I avoid talking about their current partner, or former life? Or I think of my greedy friends, or gluttonous friends. It may be helpful for us to think through our relationships with divorced people. In short, sinners can, and I’ve stepped back from ranking other people’s sins. I also believe that alcoholics and prideful hypocrites can be committed Christians. I know far too many of them to doubt that. Even if I conclude that all homosexual behavior is wrong, as many conservative Christians do, I’m still compelled to respond with love.ĭo I believe that gay people can be committed Christians? Absolutely. After all, Jesus had much to say about greed, hypocrisy, pride and lust-sins I struggle with-but did not mention homosexuality. As one person told me, “Christians get very angry toward other Christians who sin differently than they do.” When people ask me how I can possibly stay friends with a sinner like Mel, I respond by asking how Mel can possibly stay friends with a sinner like me. I’m sure of what my own attitude should be toward gays and lesbians: I should show love and grace. On an issue like this, I try to start with what I’m absolutely sure of, and work outwards. I think back to Jesus and how offensive he must have found the people he dealt with yet he treated them with respect, compassion, and love. I don’t agree with some of Mel’s choices, but they are Mel’s choices, not mine, and thus between Mel and God. I found it impossible to have a close friendship with Mel when I ignored the person who shares his life. I’ve become good friends with Mel’s partner, too. I simply try to balance that off a bit by being loving and nonjudgmental. No, he receives much judgment and condemnation from the church, and also much reasoned disapproval of his life and decisions. In my relationship with Mel White, I have to remind myself that it’s not my job to present the absolutely proper, balanced viewpoint of the church.
I get hate letters full of equal venom from both sides: from conservative Christians appalled that I would maintain a friendship with Mel and write compassionately about gays and lesbians, and from the other side wishing I would go further with a full endorsement of gay rights. We all know know well how explosive this issue can be. He tells his own story in the book Stranger at the Gate. Mel became a window to me into a world I knew nothing about. (He still is a close friend, by the way.) He had repressed and hidden his homosexuality, and in fact was married and was making a fine career in Christian publishing and also in ministry as a pastor and professor at Fuller Seminary.
You don’t beat around the bush, do you? Mel-formerly a ghost writer for famous Christians and now a prominent gay activist-was one of my closest friends for years before he revealed to me his sexual orientation. What is your position on gays and lesbians in the church? In your book What’s so Amazing about Grace? you tell about your friendship with Soulforce leader Mel White.